Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
