Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
