Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize