Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
