I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
