I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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