I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
