do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
