and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
