If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
