his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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