i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
