You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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