Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
