New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Randomize
