Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Randomize
