I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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