Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
