Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
