no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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