upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Randomize