How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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