just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
This is classic penis vs brain.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
