so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
