Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
