he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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