just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
