Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
