The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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