She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
