Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
