I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
