when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
