I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
i just google imaged poop.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
