i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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