Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
