the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
This is my gift to your gina
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
