The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
