threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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