no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
