I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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