i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
