It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
