never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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