I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
