Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
