Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
