Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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