do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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