Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
