Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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