Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize