Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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