Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
