She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
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