Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
