rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
