Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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