New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
