oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
