just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
