His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
