He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
this is an emotional support booty call
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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