The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
