Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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