I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize