I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
