just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
