I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
