it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
