i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
