Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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