bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
