He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
