hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
