I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
