If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
